Sunday, April 22, 2012
Long-Distance Relationships
A part of this chapter that I thought was interesting was the part that went over Adapt Communication to Maintain Long-Distance Relationships. I guess I was drawn to it because I’ve never really seen the point in long-distance relationships. I tried it briefly a few years ago and it didn’t work for me or for her. Since we didn’t get to see each other and only talked ever so often, it began to feel like we were in a relationship only for the sake of being able to say that we were. I agree with the books explanation of how long-distance relationships can grant a sense of autonomy or even a routine that is hard to break even when you’re together again. In my experience, being in such a relationship is actually just being single with the advantage of being able to say you’re in a relationship when it suits you.
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You make a great point about being in a long distance relationship just to say you are in a relationship. I made that mistake (without realizing it until much later), and it all ended badly. I had a boyfriend for five years – he went off to college – and I stayed in our hometown. The distance was crazy hard, and honestly, I started to feel like I didn’t really need to be with him any more as the time went on. I should have taken that as a sign to go ahead and break up, but I didn’t. Instead, I was so focused on what everyone else thought (“you two are so good together,” etc.), that I ended up staying in the relationship, marrying him, and then getting divorced when I was 20. Yikes! All of that because I was listening to what others thought instead of listening to myself. Sigh.
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