Family Life Cycle

A concept that I thought was interesting in this chapter was the family life cycle. I liked how the chapter was able to break it down into just seven different stages which were establishing a family, enlarging a family, developing a family, encouraging independence, launching children, postlaunching of children and retirement. I liked being able to look at these stages and think about which stage the people in my life are at. I know people who have just stepped into stage two, others who are in stage three and I’m sure my parents would be in stage five of their family life cycle. I’ve always imagined that settling down and having a family would be a difficult decision for me but this chapter made it seem like a challenging but altogether beautiful process. Although I do not plan on starting a family anytime soon, this chapter has at least opened my mind to the possibility of it.

Question 2 (Marriage)

Based on recent cultural trends and the progression of my generation’s values, I think that marriage is going to become less meaningful in the next fifty years. This chapter mentioned that approximately half of all marriages end in divorce now and sixty percent of remarriages do not last either. With this in mind, I think that marriage could reach a level of degradation in which it is equivalent to dating someone instead of being the lifelong commitment it was meant to be. I’ve never been married, so I can’t say I know the struggles and obstacles that come along with it, but I’m still disappointed by the divorce rate these days. It makes me think that people, that my generation, isn’t taking marriage as seriously as they should. I’m not saying that no one should be allowed to get a divorce. I’m just saying that it shouldn’t be used so freely. It should be a last resort, something you turn to when you’ve already tried everything else.

Question 1 (Family)

I would define family as being a group of people who are deeply connected to each other through blood, love or shared experiences. In my opinion, you can’t consider someone to be family unless you have a connection to them through one of the three. Although most people seem to see family as primarily a matter of blood or marriage, I’ve come to understand that love and shared experiences are far more important. My little sister is adopted but I love her with all of my heart and, as such, have never seen her as anything but a member of my family. On the other hand, my aunts, uncles and cousins are related to me by blood but, since I hardly ever see them, I consider them to be relatives not family. Being a part of a family is about more than blood and marriage. It’s about being there for those who are closest to you when they need you. It’s about accepting them as they are, flaws and all. It’s about having people in your life you know will love you unconditionally. I have a mother, father, two big brothers, and a little sister and what makes us family, above all else, is that we love each other and have no doubts that that will ever change.

Long-Distance Relationships

A part of this chapter that I thought was interesting was the part that went over Adapt Communication to Maintain Long-Distance Relationships. I guess I was drawn to it because I’ve never really seen the point in long-distance relationships. I tried it briefly a few years ago and it didn’t work for me or for her. Since we didn’t get to see each other and only talked ever so often, it began to feel like we were in a relationship only for the sake of being able to say that we were. I agree with the books explanation of how long-distance relationships can grant a sense of autonomy or even a routine that is hard to break even when you’re together again. In my experience, being in such a relationship is actually just being single with the advantage of being able to say you’re in a relationship when it suits you.

Question 1 (Online/Face-to-Face)

Although I know there is amply potential for deceit in face-to-face relationships, I do think that there is even more in online relationships. I agree that, in online relationships, people can easily misrepresent themselves. Of course, they can do this face-to-face as well, but it’s not nearly as easy. I think the reason for the increased deception is because there isn’t a simply way to prove whether or not their telling the truth about themselves. They could say anything about their life and who they are and the only choices the other party is left with is to believe or not believe them. In either case, you don’t know whether or not you’ve been told the truth. However, I don’t think I would say that it is always unethical to misrepresent yourself. Sometimes people exaggerate who they are or what they’ve done as a way of making themselves feel better.

Question 2 (love or commitment)

I have experienced a relationship in which there was commitment but not love. Although, in the beginning, I might have thought I was in love with her, it became clear to me later that that wasn’t the case. I cared about her deeply, and I was committed, but that was about it. I had hoped that my feelings for her would grow as the relationship progressed. It was almost like I was waiting for the moment in which I would suddenly fall in love with her. Of course, the moment never came for me and at that point I felt like I was obliged to stick it out. It was months before I finally had enough sense to end the relationship. I have experienced both relationships, one in which only love was present, and the other in which there was only commitment. I’ve come to understand that love and commitment go hand in hand with each other. It’s not enough to love someone but not want to be around or invest in the relationship. On the other hand, commitment without love can make a relationship feel like a job or obligation rather than a gift.

Question 1 (Friendship Site)

I thought that the friendship page was a decent place to find simple information to help relationships and I was pleased to see that there was an actual website for such things. However, I couldn’t help but notice that the book was significantly more insightful and all together helpful for me. The friendship page, in my opinion, seemed to be working with a general idea of what friendship is and as such it provided easy answers and solutions. Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters was much more in depth. It explained how friendships begin, the stages they go through, and even what’s necessary to keep them strong. The friendship page did mention some similar challenges that were presented in this chapter. For example, it addressed the issue of developing romantic feelings for one of your friends and how to deal with it. Aside from that, I didn’t see it addressing any of the other challenges for friendship that were mentioned in chapter ten.

Development of Friendship

A concept that I found to be particularly interesting in this chapter was the development of friendship. I liked how the book broke it down to six different stages which were role limited interaction, friendly relations, moving toward friendship, nascent friendship, stabilized frienship and finally waning friendship.I thought the last stage was enlightening. I never realized how easily a friendship can come a part. I guess I always thought the only way for a friendship to end is with a big fight or disagreement. I didn't consider that a friendship could end just as easily by not having enough time for one another. I can now see that there are some friendships in my life that are approaching the waning stage. Between college, work, and family, I just havent has much time for my old friends. I hope there is still enough time for me to fix these relationships and get them back on track.

Question 2 (Friendship)

My best friend and I have known each other since sophomore year of high school. I think the biggest investment that we’ve made in each other is time. We spent almost every day of high school together both in and out of class. We arrived at parties together, double dated and got to know each other’s family. We built trust, acceptance and closeness through the long conversations we’ve had over the years. We’re both free to speak our minds, no matter where they lead us, knowing that we won’t be judged for the things we say. I’ve always thought this was one of the best parts of our friendship. I found this chapter to be very helpful and I did learn a few ways in which I could be a better friend in the future. I noticed that the dynamics of my friendship with him were pretty much the same as those identified in this chapter. However, I do think there is room for improvement.